It’s Wednesday and I’m sitting here trying to find something
to write about.
Normally I get up on Friday morning and write the blog. But
the last week has been so incredibly eventful, and this coming weekend has a
number of personal events that can’t be put on hold for a blog. Sometimes I
share things about my personal life because it helps me talk about writing. But
this week, there doesn’t seem to be anything I can directly relate to the
process. It’s troublesome sometimes, trying to create content on a weekly
basis. Sometimes what you produce isn’t your strongest stuff. And sometimes, it’s
not there at all. This very much feels like the latter.
That’s not to say anything bad is happening in my life. On
the contrary, the last week has been pretty fantastic. There just isn’t a way
to tie it directly to writing. I’ve been pondering all week what this blog
should be about, and it’s just not coming to me. It’s like there’s some kind of
block. Like a… Writer’s Block…
Writer’s block is an interesting thing. It’s real, but at
the same time, it’s really not. In fact, I’ve heard successful writers
specifically state that it doesn’t exist. But it’s something most writers deal
with at one point in time or another. Personally, I’m torn about how to
describe it because those writers are not wrong. And yet…
I’ve gone years without writing before. Sort of. I’ve always
considered myself a writer, and throughout the years I’ve focused on different
types of writing depending on the time and place. I’ve written poetry, movie
scripts, a novel, journals, sketch comedy bits, music lyrics, long emotional
letters, speeches, book reports, blogs… all sorts of things. And in every
instance, I put my title first. I am a writer. It makes it difficult sometimes
to answer the question, “What do you write?” Because I think most people are
expecting you to tell them a story. And while writing and storytelling go
hand-in-hand, it’s not as simple as just describing the story sometimes. I keep
thinking to myself that I haven’t written a story in years. But the truth is,
everything I write is a story in one way or another. So people ask, “What do
you write?” I answer, “Song lyrics.” And I receive a blank face. Because most
people don’t equate the writing process to something like music lyrics. But
within those lyrics might be a beautiful story about a long lost love.
Writing is defined on Google as 1. The activity or skill of
marking coherent words on paper and composing text, 2. Written work, especially
with regard to its style or quality. It’s a very broad description. Writer’s
block is defined as the condition of being unable to think of what to write or
how to proceed with writing. In contrast, pretty direct. I’ll be honest, I’m
500 words into this blog and I’m still not 100% sure where I’m going with it.
But that’s okay.
See, all those types of writing I listed above all have very
valuable qualities that can be used in a myriad of ways to flex those writing
muscles. Poetry is meant to evoke emotion, while a speech is meant to sway or
solidify an opinion. Maybe if you ever write a speech, you might add a few
lines of poetry in order to appeal to the audience’s emotions. See? They’re
interchangeable as well. And throughout this whole blog, I’ve been using a
technique I’ve talked about before: freewriting. Just kind of letting my
thoughts and ideas spill out on paper in hopes that something will spark the
writing process. Except while I’ve been doing it, I’ve already been working
through the writing process. And that is where the paradox of writer’s block
lies.
I heard Richard Kadrey say once, “There is no such thing as
writer’s block. There is such a thing as writer’s laziness.” I think he was
trying to express something similar to what I’m trying to express here. It’s
only a block because I’m not doing anything. If I actually force myself to sit
down, pick up the pen, and start jotting things down, something will come out. Sometimes
it’s worthless garbage, but that’s okay. You’re not going to hit a home run
every time you’re at bat. You still have to swing at the ball once in a while.
So why do we hold ourselves to a higher standard when it comes to writing?
Because the world expects a story? Because we feel inadequate when our first
few words are gibberish? Because writing takes technique, and we are reminded
of how clumsy and stupid we are when we begin?
I mean, yeah. Probably.
But just like any other skill or technique, you have to
practice. A story is a finely chiseled stone statue in the foliage of a
beautiful city park. The pen is your chisel, and the paper is your stone. It
takes time and delicacy to tap away the junk around your work of art. But
sometimes, you just gotta whack a big ol’ chunk off to get yourself started.
And that’s what we do as writers. We put all this insane pressure
on ourselves to create something beautiful right when we start, forgetting that
we don’t have to write the next great American novel to get started. A bit of
poetry, maybe a letter to a friend, even some (especially some) freewriting is
enough sometimes. It’s all still writing. I’ve said it before, writing is a marathon, not
a sprint. It takes patience. And rewrites. And rewrites. And rewrites. And patience.
But diligence gets results in writing. My writer’s block comes back again, and
again, and again. And every time, I have to remind myself that the act of
writing isn’t the act of storytelling. Yes, they go hand-in-hand. But they are
not the same thing. Writing is just swinging that bat, tapping that chisel. And
if you make yourself do it enough, over and over again, eventually you’ll
hit that home run. You’ll carve that beautiful statue.
But it starts with a decision of doing instead of not doing.
And that decision is the only real block you have.
This was a big week for me. I powered through the third
draft of the outline and completed it. I now have a 14 page 8,200 word document
that I’m satisfied with. It’s not perfect, but it’s good enough to move on to
the next step. Most importantly, it tells a coherent story. All of the
exposition I was worried about has been ironed throughout the story. There’s a
few twists in it, and the ending does double duty. It both holds the finalized
outcome for the main protagonist as well as leaves an open-ended (and hopefully
mysterious) epilogue for a prominent side character. This allows me to continue
with further stories using this character to tie them together. In this age of “shared
universe” media, it seems like a trope. But it’s an idea I’ve had since high
school and hadn’t ever really figured out a proper way to implement. Now, if
this first attempt is successful, I’ll be able to flesh out that idea and
really explore the universe I dreamt of all those years ago. And if it’s not, I’ve
accomplished the main goal I set out for: making a graphic novel.
The next step is going to be new for me. I said before that
I was going to write the whole thing out in movie script form and then do
storyboarding before converting it into a comic strip. I’m going to take the
chance of skipping the movie script and going directly to storyboarding. I think
the outline is strong enough and the visuals are vivid enough in my head that I
can do that. Except for the part where I can’t draw extremely well. I’ll be
honest, the storyboards are going to start out looking like a rolling garbage
fire. But beauty is not the point at this stage. Plotting out the actual comic
format is the point. Plus, having some storyboards (no matter how crude) in
addition to a well written, well formatted script will help express the concept
to a real illustrator. All in all, I’m getting very excited about this.
Especially since it looks like I’m going to hit that August 12th
deadline I gave myself. Swinging that bat. Tapping that chisel.
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