It's a Marathon, Not a Sprint

I have a problem this week.

I'm not really sure how to get into it, how to correctly identify it, or even if I should share it. But I've felt a little off all week, and I'm wondering how much of it is from an adjusting schedule.

Scheduling, more so now than at any other point in my life, is very important. I've tried numerous types of scheduling techniques, apps, reminders, both digital & analog. Yet I still revert to writing out my schedule with pen & paper in 7 to 14 day increments before adding them to any type of planner. I'm sure from the outside it looks like an unorganized mess with more steps to the process than necessary. But in an ironic twist, I like to take my time when it comes to scheduling. It's important that I get it right the first time, because I already know things are going to change throughout the week and I have to be flexible. I don't do well with change, and I don't do well with flexibility. These are things that I've had to struggle to accept and learn how to deal with. Which, I think personally, while I'm not perfect, I have made incredible progress.

I also won't lie about being lucky this summer. I've fallen into the opportunity to stretch my creative wings a bit, and haven't had any real time consuming responsibilities save the ones I make for myself. It's given me the chance to work on this comic, Dream Story. It's given me time to focus on a Kickstarter for an audio show, start a Let's Play YouTube channel with a friend, and more consistently attend my writer's group (except for this week, sorry guys). It's given me time to read through books and graphic novels I just didn't have time for beforehand. And while it's given me time to think and adjust things with my current podcast, Comic Conclusion, my partner on that project has been a bit busier than usual (as well as me having my own minor emergencies) which has prevented us from releasing on our usual weekly basis. I've even had time to lose ten pound, but that's a completely different story.

When it comes to Dream Story, it's specifically given me time to think. Last week, I brought up the idea of what I was trying to say. I've had the time to ponder this question and come up with a somewhat abstract answer, but it's an answer nonetheless. I've had time to learn about the characters and their motivations. I've had time to flesh out the plot. There's still a lot of work to do, but I'm proud already at the amount of progress I've made on that story. Also, I'm still lucky enough that if I keep the momentum up, I'll be finished with the script before the fall. But honestly, even with all the extra free time, I owe what I've completed this far to sticking to a rigorous scheduling format. And I think for most people, when it involves writing, that's a very difficult thing to do.

Listening to Victor Dandridge, Genese Davis and Richard Kadrey (and many, many others) at Wizard World this summer talk about how important it is to find the time to write; the passion strikes a chord with me. But I never gave myself the opportunity to talk to any of them specifically about scheduling, and that's something I regret. It seems like a silly idea, I'm sure. But making a schedule is only half the battle, you still have to stick to it, which takes motivation, just as much as it takes motivation to actually write. I cannot stress enough how important it is to just stick to the plan. How it helps you build good habits. How you get to start seeing the progress as you go along, which inspires you to keep going. How setting a deadline forces you to expend that last bit of energy to finish the marathon right at that last leg of the race...

I can't even tell you how many times the words, "writing is a marathon, not a sprint," were said at Wizard World. And in a marathon, there are mile markers as you go, letting you know that you've made it this far and you only have so much farther to go. This is what scheduling does for me. It gives me those mile markers so I can check my progress. It gives me an idea about how much of the race is left. It helps me map out a route, gives me direction, it even lets me know when to stop and take a breather. And those things are important.

But just like any other sporting event, you have to practice. You have to work yourself up to running a marathon. You can't just plug a bunch of things into a calendar and expect you're suddenly going to hit all of your marks. It's just not reasonable. You have to start small. You have to give yourself realistic goals and work your way up. Yes, tell yourself a generalization, "I'm going to write this novel." Then put that in the background, and say "I'm going to find 2 hours this week to work on it." And be even less ambitious that first week. Don't sit and do it all at once. Do 15 minutes here, a half hour there. But hit that two hour mark in seven days, and then tell yourself, "I did it. I'm capable of at least two hours of writing a week." And then reevaluate. Make the decision, is 2 hours going to work for you? Can you do more? Should you be doing less? Are you satisfied with what you accomplished in two hours? And adjust. And adjust. And adjust. But never stop running the marathon. Never stop writing. Eventually, you'll find a schedule that you're happy with. You'll build habits you won't be able to break. You'll look behind you and realize you're half way there, and you can be proud that you've made it this far, and excited to keep on going.

Scheduling starts out as an abstract thing. It takes time to build the skill set associated with it. But if you take a realistic look at what scheduling is, and how it can fit into your life, it slowly becomes what makes or breaks your writing habits. I write every day now. Sometimes it's journaling, or letters to friends & family, or blogging, sometimes it's music or poetry or actual stories. But I make it a point to write every day, and I don't limit what I consider "writing" to just what I put into a singe project. It all counts for something. Eventually, I'll get to explaining how each one of these things is it's own art form. Today, it's just trying to convince you, you're capable of running the race. You're capable of finishing the race. But today, let's just start with a step. Your story is a marathon, not a sprint. Treat it like one.

Come the third week of August, I'll be working part time as an intern at my local junior college and attending 3/4 time as well. There's a giant fear I have that I'll have to put down most of my creative endeavors once that time comes around and work by someone else's schedule, both to further my education and get some cash flowing again. That problem looming over my shoulders right now is the sad idea that I'm not capable of scheduling that much work into a single week, so some things will be stretched out and other things will be put on hiatus altogether. I'm torn between responsibility and creativity, and that's a rough place for anyone to be. I'll be honest, I'm not sure what I'm going to do yet or how I'm going to handle such an abrupt change. The realization this week threw me off more than I expected. I still hit the majority of my goals, but the normal sense of pride and accomplishment wasn't there. In all honesty, these are good problems to have, but it doesn't negate the feelings I have about them. And at this point all I can really do is wait and see. At any rate, getting this out will hopefully help me shake the feels and get back on track.

After last week, it became apparent that I needed to really flesh out some aspects of the plot and get some dots connected. I know how it ends, and I have a really good intro to the whole thing, but there were plenty of loose strings and missing segments in the middle. So I did some free-writing for about 3 days, which added up to around 3,700 words specifically related to Dream Story. Word counts are nice, but they don't really tell you anything about what you're writing except how long it is, and free-writing word counts don't even do that. The technique behind free-writing differs from one person to the next, but the most general description I've heard people use is just sitting and writing for a certain amount of time and letting whatever's in your head come out. The hope in all of this is that something will hit the page that will be of some use toward the story. I've never really liked writing this way because I get lost in my own thoughts and never focus on the story at hand. So I've augmented the technique to suit me better. I spend 30-40 minutes journaling before free-writing to get all of my thoughts and emotions cleared out. Then I spend approximately an hour free-writing with a specific focus, allowing myself to more clearly exert ideas that would be beneficial to the story. This worked extremely well in this instance.

Most of that unconnected and missing stuff has been tied down and filled out. There are one or two things concerning the (familial) relationship between two characters that isn't there yet, but I'll come back to that in a moment. The ins and outs of the story are almost complete. Except since it all came out in free writing, they're completely out of order and are flanked by lesser ideas that need to be weeded out. So on the 4th day I sat and made a very simple scene list. It's just a numbered list, each section only a few words long to remind me what I want the structure to be. It's basic, but it tells me a lot of information really fast. I know the order of events, where each scene takes place, who is in each scene, and how the scenes run together. Very simple phrases, like "the accident," or "the first night at the hotel." I don't need to add a lot of description to the list because the point is to let it act as a placeholder for all the ideas in the free-writing. I just have to play a sort of association game, reading through the free-writing and moving things into the list where I think they should go. I haven't done that part yet.

I haven't done it yet because it was on that fourth day that the scheduling thing started getting to me, and I decided I should take a break. After I go through and organize that list the best I can, the next step will be physically writing the first draft. I wanted a chance to clear my head before the first draft. For me, completing a first draft seems to be the hardest part of the process. I get started and stop, revise, start and stop again, revise, etc. I talked before about how important it is for me on this story to just get it all out before revising it. So I'm allowing myself three days to prepare for that. It may not have been the best idea, because the abrupt change in scheduling jarred me a bit. In the future I'll have to adjust the way I prepare for similar things, but for now it is what it is. Tomorrow I start sifting through the free-writing, and hopefully in a few days I'll be prepared for the first draft. The point of doing this is to both look at the project with somewhat fresh eyes and build the confidence in knowing the story is complete, I just have to write it. We'll see how this system works next week.

On the relationship of those two characters, I believe this is what's going to make or break this story. There is a lot of potential for loopholes with this part of the story, so making sure it makes sense is important to me. I clearly have no idea how I'm going to rectify this, and it will be a major point of contention both filing out that list and during the first draft. I expect it will have to be rewritten and I'll be asking for a lot of advice from my writer's group about it. The good thing is I've identified it as a potential problem early. This will give me the opportunity to put more focus on it when the time comes and hopefully it'll end up adding to the story overall.

That's it this week. Go write something.

Communication is Key

If you’ve known me for any reasonable amount of time, you know that I’ve blogged quite a bit. Most of that stuff is long gone wherever the graveyard of the internet lies. And I’m fine with that, because most of it was just the sad, whiny ramblings of a broken individual. No more! And I’m happy to report that I have something to report! But before I get there, I have some problems pertaining to the action of blogging. Mainly, what do I put in it?

Before, it was as simple as picking a title and rambling on about it for however long felt right. Now though, things are different, and I’m not quite sure I’m aiming for an audience that wants to read 2,000 words about how my sock drawer made me think of that one time Fred Kelm put me in a headlock on the drama stage in high school. Not only am I aiming for a different audience, I’m aiming for a different type of writing. But just like I want my audience and writing to grow, that means my communication must grow as well. Which seems to have been the theme of the week, from arguments with my mother, to reorganizing the structure of a separate project, to identifying exactly what I want to say in this comic, communication is key in every aspect of creativity just like it is in life. And when I look back at my adult life, I can see how it’s taken me time to properly express myself, communicate my thoughts with others, and generally not put my foot in my mouth every three sentences.

Learning to communicate, much like writing, is a marathon. You don’t automatically become this amazing flow of information overnight. All those things you have to deal with; company meetings, public speaking classes, essay structure, they all boil down to the same thing: how you communicate. How you communicate is one of the most important things you can learn, because then you can adjust your communication skills to reach a broader audience and hey look at that, growth. But it’s not just limited to that. Knowing how you communicate helps you become more self-aware of the person you are, and in turn can help you hey look at that, grow as a person.

What I’m trying to communicate here is how important communication is. (Insert Xzibit meme.)

So back to my original question, what do I put into this blog? What is it exactly that I want so badly to communicate? I suppose when I think about it hard enough, it’s only fair and worthwhile for both you the audience and me the writer to get something out of it. Last week, I talked at length about what I was going to get out of it. Self-accountability. Also, there’s a strong drive within me to prove I can finish a task, but we’ll talk about that another time. Today, I’d like to turn my focus on you, the audience, and answer a different question. Why should you bother reading this? Why spend your time going through someone else’s journey? What am I trying to communicate to you?

The process of writing is an individual’s prerogative. I can tell you about technique, show you structure, breakdown the hero’s journey or three act plotting until I’m red in the face. And I will. I promise, you’re gonna suffer through that just like me. But at the end of the day, how you write is your business, and no one can tell you how to get from point A to point B, they can only tell you what worked or didn’t work for them. While I will go in depth about some of those topics, that’s not the point of this blog.

When it comes to actually publishing something, I haven’t the foggiest idea how it works. I’ve never had anything published. I can say that from some of the panels during Wizard World Sacramento 2017, the process seems to be partially universal. Most of the writers there have seemed to have had the same pitfalls, struggles, self-made opportunities, and breakthroughs in the process of publishing. I imagine when I step up to bat, I’ll be swinging at the same pitches. Whether I’m successful or not, I plan to regularly check back in here so you, the audience, might have a better understanding of what you might expect when you get to the same place. But just like the process of writing, this blog isn’t about the process of publishing either.

When I was a teen, I bounced back and forth between my parents’ quite a bit. One lived in California, the other in Colorado. Sometimes, because of extenuating circumstances, I’d have to make that switch in the middle of the school year. One of those times, I had a Spanish class with a professor named Mr. Williams. It was this weird immersion class where he spoke full Spanish to us from day one and had us act out things he said in front of the class daily. I remember actually doing fairly well because the class was so much fun. Mr. Williams was an amazing teacher. Even more so than I had initially thought. The day came where, right in the middle of the semester, I had to return my books and sign out of his class. I was making that switch from one parent to another. He took one look at my face and his eyes got glassy. He took my books, signed me out, and then gave me this huge bear hug, and whispered “Sometimes we have to grow up before we should. You’re going to be okay.”

He didn’t know me. Not really. I had only spent a few weeks in his class. We hadn’t ever talked besides in lecture, and even then, he did most of the talking. Yet he took one look at me and he knew. He knew things were tough and he knew there wasn’t anything he could do to help. He knew that in different circumstances, I might have been one of his top students. He knew that there was some sort of worth within me, and I think maybe he was a little disappointed that he wasn’t going to get to see it.

But I also think he knew he didn’t need to. He knew it was going to be okay. And eventually, it was. That’s something that’s always stuck with me. That once when I was a kid, there was this really smart teacher that looked at me and thought, “he’s gonna do fine.” And I wouldn’t ever want to let Mr. Williams down. I want to prove him right. With two little sentences, Mr. Williams inspired me to succeed. That inspiration may have laid dormant for quite some time. But it never went away.

I think that’s what this blog is about. Scratching around, stirring up those dormant inspirations within you, the audience. Planting little seeds that will one day crack the surface. Maybe you’re thinking about it now, or maybe much like me it will take a number of years. But they’re there. We all have them. And we need to nurture them once in a while. Because inspiration fuels motivation, and motivation fuels creativity. And that’s what I want to do for my audience. I want to fuel your creativity. I hope, through solid communication, I’m capable of doing that for you.

Before I forget, my update on the graphic novel. So just to make it a little less impersonal, the working title of the story is “Dream Story.” Between Monday and Thursday, I wrote ~2,000 words a day (8,000 total). ~4,000 of that was directly related to Dream Story, and ~3,500 was specifically the outline I’m working on. I have successfully made it past the turn into the middle of the story, which is one of the more difficult points in the process. Everything after that is still kind of up in the air. I know where I want to end it, but the middle section is always the hardest.

Word counts are nice and all, but they don’t make a story. It’s important to remember direction at this stage, so that things don’t become a jumbled mess by the climax. But in order to get to that point, things are going to have to get messier first. Namely, I’m going to be doing a lot of free writing throughout next week to see if I can come up with the plot points for the middle bit. I’m afraid at how long the introduction is, and I’m scared it won’t translate well to a comic, and that large aspects will have to be chopped. But the concern has to sit on the back burner for the sake of getting to the next step.

Next will be letting it stew for a few weeks and working on something else, for the soul reason of looking at it with fresh eyes. During that time, I’ll be sharing details about that other project before turning back to Dream Story. Then my self-edit. One of the biggest struggles I have as a writer is not editing while I write. For some projects I feel like this is totally fine. But for this one, the best course of action is just plowing through and looking at it as a whole. I did share it with my writer’s group on Wednesday, which is something I’ll be talking about in the next few weeks.

At times, I’ve been more excited to write this blog than I was to write the story, but only because I had positive news about the story to share. The story itself has already had some major changes in the plot points, only because at a second glance it’s obvious that things needed to change a little before I could press forward. Now that I’m basically back at the point I left off, I don’t need to change anything. I just need to get it out on paper. The character development has exploded a bit, which is good. I’m learning who these characters are, and what they’re trying to convey in the story. They’re telling me how they fit together, and I’m listening.

Overall, I think it’s a good start. Keeping it up is the challenge now. After all, it’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Greeting from Wizard World 2017

Such a weird concept. A world full of wizards? Where's the magic in that? I mean, basically everyone does magic, so I guess technically it's everywhere all the time. But a planet of magic users seems mundane because the concept assumes everyone is a magic user. You know who the exciting character is on a planet like that? The dude that doesn't know magic. Ya know, cause he has to figure it out, or figure out how to work without it, or leave, and try not to die on the way...

In the context of the actual Wizard World Convention, I think many of them might actually be wizards. Just solely based on the fact that the people that work there are so inspiring. Could you imagine, a giant organization of magic users that tours the country and spreads positivity and hope for fandom? That's a crazy concept.

This blog isn't actually about any of that.

I mean, let's not bury the lead, it's about making a comic book. Which in and of itself is an insane prospect that is going to take dedication and passion. I've really gotta stick to my guns on this one. Once I hit publish, there's no turning back. I'm going to have to make a comic book. To add to that the concept of tracking the process from conception to publication in a blog isn't just ridiculously ambitious, it might very well be insane. Which is something I've been accused of being.

But self-accountability is such a hard thing to deal with. That drive to finish a project, it has to come from somewhere, and that somewhere is different for everybody. For me, I've yet to find it. So more than anything else, this might be nothing other than an attempt at that. Trying to find some tool, some thing that helps me finish this story. Forgive my naiveté and ambition, but I must try.

Going to Wizard World and meeting so many self-driven publishers, so many independent individuals. It was inspiring. But converting that inspiration into actual work, and then keeping that inspiration at a level that will help me succeed. It's quite a task. The question, "am I up for it," looms heavily on my shoulders. I want to be. I want to emulate the success of those self-publishers so badly. I want to be independent in my creativity and use that independence to support myself. I know it's possible, because I see it in these other individuals. And Wizard World is a great place to learn how they did it. Because through a series of panels geared toward successful independent writers, they share their experiences of how they got to where they are. And this time, I took notes. Rich, comprehensive notes, not just on form and structure, but also the abstract idea of drive. Ways to motivate yourself, look past self-doubt, be accountable for completing your work, staying on task, and most importantly, not giving up.

It's far from my first completed piece of work. I wrote a movie script when I was 18. A novel online around 22. My second movie at 23, which I always forget I did. I collected a series of my best poetry into a book around the same time. At 30, I finished a punk album, which although isn't in written word, still had it's own challenges within writing. Most recently, about two weeks ago, a group of friends and I finished a six episode audio comedy-drama meant for podcasting. So I've done some stuff. Nothing I've ever done anything with. But still, projects I've completed. And yet I still forget that I know how to do this. I forgot that I always wanted to be a writer. What a dope.

And specifically, I'm not really starting from scratch. This idea started around a year ago, and I built on it through a series of scene samples I shared with my local writing group. But just like most stories, I fell off it. I've had a habit of letting the world discourage me from doing what I love. I'm trying to break that habit. I find it unbecoming. But reverting back to the point, some of the groundwork has already been laid. There's a basic structure, although partially in my head. Some of the characters have been fleshed out. Obviously, in the "most important has the most info" way that I'm a little ashamed of still practicing. There's a meaning behind the plot, which says a lot (mostly it screams "there's an actual plot!") And the first draft got somewhere near a third of the way through before I tossed the whole thing aside and decided to galavant along with my Engineering education. I mean, at least I've been doing something meaningful.

Here's the thing though. The one thing that I've taken away from Wizard World and was completely boggled by when I first heard it. It took a while to resonate with me, and it makes so much sense. Creators. Real writers, like storytellers. They don't share ideas with each other. They don't like it when others share ideas with them. They don't want to hear your concepts. They don't pay attention to the genre they're working on while they're working on it. Because they don't want the influence in their own story. They don't want to feel like the story they've told has been told a billion times, even when they know it has. Because the passion in writing comes from being able to tell it in your own style. And most of all, they don't want to be accused of stealing someone else's idea.

So here's what I'm going to try. Once a week, every Friday morning, I'm going to give an update of where I'm at with this story. I'm not sure how long they'll be. I know I will explain the stage I'm at, how it's relative to the stages before and after it, what kind of issues I'm having, how I'm planning on solving them, why I'm doing it this way, etc. What won't be in the updates are story elements. I won't share the plot, or the characters, or anything that I feel will give away what I'm actually working on. Because, and I used to believe this so I'm not sure why I forgot or why it took so long to remember, by telling you what I have planned fulfills the storytelling need and makes the actual writing part obsolete. That's really how I think it goes. So, maybe I might say I'm having trouble with the main protagonist and his direction, I'm thinking of doing this to fix it. But I'm not going to say, I haven't figured out why Rick is beating this dead horse with a stick, but I'm going to research why people do that and see if anything fits. I mean, that's a pretty horrible example, but I think you get my point.

So first thing first, I have all of the material from when I put this story aside and I'm reading through it to see what I like and what I don't. This story is begging to be written in ink first, so everything I typed up is either being re-written by hand or just plain out thrown away. I'm not going to write in novel form like I had been before. This story doesn't want to be a novel, it wants to be a comic book. But before I can start plotting out pages, I have to have an outline. A decent beginning-middle-end plot explaining what happens to each character as the story progresses. And that outline needs to be finished before I move on to the next step. Which is formatting the story for comics. So I have to go through and break down every scene into it's core elements, make sure there's an understanding about who the characters are and why they do what they do, and make sure the whole thing is going to be enjoyable to read. I have no guess as to how long that's going to be, but I've already decided I'm not going to write any dialog in this part. Just the raw explanation, like an extensive book report or Cliff Notes. I need to understand what I'm writing so I can sit down and write it.

This is, by far, one of the most difficult parts of the process especially when you're new or you haven't written in a while. It's also very frustrating by nature. Some people go through a myriad of techniques to accomplish this. Brute force, word association, free writing, lists and brainstorms, flowcharts, etc. I'm lucky to have already built a lot of that structure, so I'm hoping (god willing) that this will be more maintenance than construction. We will see. When I figure out what I have to do to make it work, I will share which techniques I use to get to the next step. And I'm also going to give myself my first deadline.

August 11th: A complete outline of the story ready to be reviewed by a peer, then edited and formatted into a comic book script.

And that's it. I suppose we'll see where we're at in a week.